The Meeting Matters Team · 2026-10-17
In many Pakistani families, one spouse works or studies abroad while the other stays in Pakistan, or one waits for a spouse visa. Some couples manage well. For others, the distance brings loneliness, mistrust, arguments by phone and a growing sense of being strangers. This guide describes the common problems and what can help.
Common Problems When a Spouse Is Abroad
- Loneliness on both sides. The partner abroad is isolated and working hard. The partner at home may feel left with family responsibilities.
- Communication by phone. Calls become short, practical or tense. Misunderstandings grow in text messages.
- Trust and suspicion. Distance makes it easier to imagine the worst, and rumours from family can make it worse.
- Money. Pressure to send money, disagreements over spending, and resentment.
- In-laws. A partner living in the joint family without their spouse can feel judged or unsupported. See in-laws and joint family conflict.
- Visa uncertainty. Waiting for a spouse visa and being unsure of the future is stressful.
- Different lives. Over time, partners can change in different directions.
What Helps
- Agree a routine for contact, and keep it. A short, regular video call is better than a long call that never happens.
- Share small things, not just logistics: your day, your worries, what made you laugh.
- Say what you need. Instead of blaming ("you never call"), say "I miss hearing from you, and I would like a call on Sundays".
- Be open about money, and agree a plan together.
- Keep family out of arguments where you can, and avoid discussing your marriage with relatives when you are angry.
- Plan the future together: when you will meet, when you will live in the same place, and what each of you needs.
When Trust Has Been Damaged
If there has been an affair or a serious breach of trust, see our guide on whether a marriage can survive infidelity and our page on affair recovery counselling.
How Online Couples Counselling Works Across Borders
You do not need to be in the same place. Both partners join one secure video session, from different cities or countries. The first session lets each of you describe the problem and what you hope will change. The counsellor stays neutral and helps you communicate, rebuild trust and make decisions about the future. Sessions are in Urdu, English or Punjabi. Mr. Muhammad Naushad Anjum, our founder, specialises in couple and marriage counselling and is registered with the UK Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC) and in the UAE. See marriage counselling for Muslim and Pakistani couples in the UK and the general page on marriage counselling.
Time Zones
Finding a time that works for both of you can be the hardest part. Tell us where each of you lives and we will suggest slots. Evenings in the UK or Gulf can be possible, depending on the psychologist's availability.
Next Step
You can book a session online, or message us on WhatsApp and we will suggest a suitable psychologist, usually within 30 minutes. Sessions are by secure video in English, Urdu, Hindi or Punjabi. Mr. Muhammad Naushad Anjum, our founder, is registered with the UK Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC) and in the UAE, and is mostly available online; our client team arranges bookings around his availability and your time zone. See the pages for Pakistanis in the UK and the UAE and Gulf.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if my spouse will not join counselling?
You can start alone. Changing how one partner responds often changes the pattern, and your spouse may join later.
Can counselling help with a long separation?
Yes. It can help you communicate better, deal with mistrust and plan the future, whatever you decide.
Is it confidential?
Yes, with legal exceptions where there is a serious risk of harm.
How much does it cost?
Fees are confirmed when you book. See how much marriage counselling costs in Pakistan for our general range.